Stop acting on the one-night-stand bar hookups. The guy you’re meant to be with is not the guy who hit on you at the bar, who moments before approaching you was standing with his Jack & Coke, surveilling who the hottest girl in the club was and planning on bringing her home for another weekend in a row. That’s not your guy.
Stop relying on Tinder to find the one. Yes, there have been Tinder weddings. But we need stop relying on it for something serious. Start focusing on having fun and using it as a joke. If your humor happens to match with your tinder match, begin to take it slow.
Stop believing it’s never going to happen for you. Once you get rid of your cynic, your aura will be more welcoming for others to open to you and approach you in a more good-hearted manner.
“Stop shitting where you eat.” Stop getting involved with the guy at work or in an environment you want to be taken seriously in. It’s so hard not to get involved with someone you work with. In a professional setting, unless the guy is a Prince of an actual country, don’t risk romance or friends with benefits. Crossing the line will be fun at first, but it’ll get complicated fast. Before you know it you’ll find yourself in your bathtub, weeping over Ben & Jerry’s, with Sam Smith on blast–again. It’s way too hard to separate work life from your love life. It will not go as planned. And we’ll keep lying to ourselves that it’s possible. You’ll make it possible not to make the situation obvious at work, but it’ll get frustrating once it’s over.
Stop looking. Stop investing your time in pursuit of finding someone who could possibly be a romantic connection. It’ll happen for you when you least expect it, and when you didn’t work to find it. When you focus on yourself, your own life, and your own career, Mr. Right will find you. Hey, you believe in destiny, right?
Throw away your expectations. There is no such thing as the perfect man. Someone will become perfect to you after you learn about their strengths and flaws. We need to stop making lists and starting to give attention to people even if they’re not your ideal cup-of-tea. Make your decision after giving them a chance.
Get rid of relationships that aren’t mutually beneficial. Whether it’s a relationship or friendship, throw it away if you’re not even getting the slightest emotional support. Analyze who is actually going out of their way to check up on you. If someone hasn’t even messaged you to ask how you’re doing or how your day is going, don’t consider them a friend or don’t even consider them close to you. If you have over 800 Instagram followers and only six people are messaging you daily, those six people are your friends. Give your heart to only those six. The 794 other people are acquaintances who you just wouldn’t mind being in the same room with.
Don’t continue to invest your time in someone if he/she is not investing the same amount of time in you. Stop being the only person who messages first. If you’re noticing the person you’re talking to isn’t initiating a conversation with the same effort as you, they don’t care. If someone cares about you, they’ll go out of their way to make sure that you know how much they care.
(P.S. The guy in the cover photo would want me to tell you that he’s never broken anyone’s heart, we’re just friends, and we’ve never dated.)