Stop Fantasizing About The Perfect Relationship

It is the 21st century and dating is not what it used to be. Men and women have both grown to fantasize and believe what or how relationships are supposed to be instead of accepting what they really are and working to make them the best they can be.

Some ideas are a bit radical, and some may be a bit “vanilla,” where we’re sugarcoating every detail and making relationships to be perfect when nothing really is. There are many vantage points for relationships but who really knows the answer to what is supposed to be perfect or right.

Today men no longer have to trade cattle or barter with fathers for their daughter’s hand in marriage (at least in many first world countries). Women do not have to worry about being sold to a man she knows nothing about. How could arrangements such as are and were acceptable is leaves me distraught. However, one can say that traditions such as these are not meant to be understood. Traditions such as these are just bookmarks in dating and relationships history.

Indeed things have changed to a point where our dating has become more technologically advanced. People now have apps such as Tinder, OkCupid, Grinder, and turn to websites like e-Harmony to find their ideal perfect match and they’re one perfect love.

Modern dating has made us impatient and it has let us fantasize about the relationship we can have with a person even before meeting them. When we start dating we lack the patience to truly know someone because we get caught up in that fantasy.  We shouldn’t feel pressured or guilty for wanting to move slow and take the time to get to know someone–things turn out better this way. There should be nothing wrong about wanting to move at a pace that you are comfortable if your partner is forcing things to move fast. But the thing is often times partners in relationships learn things too late because we forget to communicate and live in the moment. If we were patient with our relationships and with each other, many of the problems you’re facing in your relationship can be avoided.

We forget to be honest about our feelings. Why are you dating someone you can’t comfortably be honest with? Honesty should always be the number one thing in any relationship. Do not ever be afraid to speak your mind on things you are not comfortable with. You do not want to allow certain transgressions to continue because you’ll feel guilty or become miserable.  Relationships are like water in a boiling pot: It should not take you being at your boiling point to express your true self.

Taking the time to learn about one another  is a patient process. People need to learn to enjoy the process and the journey that may hopefully take them into a honest relationship.

Sometimes in life we are forced to calm down. We tend to overthink every little thing and this is were problems begin. Couples should be able to trust one another fully. There is nothing that a calm, adult conversation cannot fix.

There is no need to assume any matter about any situation.  Worries and assumptions can be cleared up through communication. If you’re not sure about something involving  your partner, you shouldn’t dare to ask their friends, family members, or even co-workers. The only people that should be involved in your relationship is your and your partner.  When other people get involved and you allow others to state their opinions,  then ideas enter your mind and they take hold of what you believe even when those thoughts could be wrong. Before you know it your words are not even your own and you and your partner will avoid addressing the real problems.

The main thing to be taken away from this article is before entering a relationship take the time to actually learn about each other. Take the time to learn not only about them but yourself as well. See if you can see yourself with that person and if you think you can fit into their lives. If you are dating more than one person at least be honest with the people you are dating. Honesty is always the right way to go. People can never assume the worst if they involve others in the process. Communication needs to be mandatory for things to go from the dating stages into a happy relationship. If the conversation does come along about being mutually exclusive then it will, but don’t force it.

Most off all there is nothing wrong in telling someone you are not the one for them. Why waste your time trying to offer something to a person who feels you can not give. You shouldn’t sit around hope the person you’re dating can change and things will improve. When you are patient and you communicate, only then will your relationship be as close to perfect as it can be.

One thought on “Stop Fantasizing About The Perfect Relationship

  1. Great post Meral! So many people are looking for the “perfect relationship” and I just don’t think it is out there. Maybe it never was, but I think it is even more difficult in the modern world we live in. Social media has given everyone a false impression of each other’s lives, nothing is ever as perfect as it might seem on an Instagram feed. I think pornography and the general portrayal of the female figure or female sexuality has also given men a false reality when it comes to our bodies and sex lives.

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