1. We need to stop hating our parents.
I’m so tired of hearing the phrases, “ugh you’re ruining my life” or “she’s out to get me,” coming out of teens and millennials when they talk about their parents. We need to realize our parents are just doing what they think is right. You might not agree but the reality is, if they’re paying for your car, food, shelter, and/or education, they care about you. Is that really the case that they’re ruining your life?
2. Parents: Stop coming to conclusions so quickly.
When faced with a dilemma of letting us go somewhere, or do something, ask your children why something is so important to them. Meet them halfway or try to see their point of view. Be patient in your talks and ask why you should trust them and be honest about why you can’t if you don’t trust them. Let them give you reasons to be comfortable in doing what they want to do. If they simply cannot win with the reasons, there are just things we need to let go.
Ex: Going to ‘After Prom.’ Your parents let you go to prom but refuse on the party afterwards. We all know what goes on at after prom, and they’re just trying to protect us for the better. We can lie and complain, but we all know the truth. Are we really going to hate them until the end of time for this?
3. You will never be old enough.
It’s time for us millennials to realize that in our parents’ eyes, we will never be old enough. They will work with us on things, but they’re still not going to approve of everything you do in your life, no matter if you’re 40 years old or 20 years old. We need to stop expecting them to approve of everything in our life.
4. Always call or text when they ask.
I will text my mother that I’ve arrived at a place when she asks. I will pick up the phone when she needs. It doesn’t matter if you’re 12, 18, or 28 years old. It’s for your own safety and it’s because they care. I cannot stand when people purposely ignore their parents or don’t feel the need to pick up the phone when they’re calling. I’m sure your fights will be cut in half if you do. They care about you and your well-being!! Show them the respect because they raised or are still raising you. That’s your mom or dad who’s worried or just wants to be sure you’re okay wherever you are.
5. Parents: Build an emotional and physical connection with your son or daughter.
It’s very important to put all guards down. There’s no need to be formal. It blows my mind, but I’ve seen parent-teen relationships where both are acting as if they’re the the boss and/or coworker. It’s essential to talk about feelings. At the end of the day, come into our rooms, and talk about each other’s days. It’s also okay to cuddle, no matter how old your children are— hug them endlessly. Be affectionate.
6. Go out together.
Whether it’s a trip to the grocery store, make it a point to do stuff together every now and then. See a movie, sign up for yoga, or go on an adventure. Doing these things will only make your bonds stronger. The older we get, we tend to never want to be seen with our parents in public and that needs to change.
7. After a certain age, especially once we hit college, talk to your parents like they’re your friends.
Tell jokes, laugh, make them have a sense of humor. It’s important to maintain healthy conversations about things.
8. Be open with what bothers you.
Both sides should sit down, calmly, and address things that frustrates them. If something is said or done that one party doesn’t like, address it right away or talk about it later, together.
9. Talk about drinking, sex, and drugs.
I can’t stress how many parents I know have avoided these talks in their homes. The conversation shouldn’t be taboo, especially in the 21st century. Avoiding the conversation at home isn’t a positive thing. It will make us uneducated, and lead to us making decisions without thinking.
Guys, we can’t be embarrassed when our parent do have the talk with us. We need to talk about it seriously and take into consideration EVERYTHING they’re saying— so that we can make well-informed decisions. Would you rather teach your kid about these topics or have them learn from an equally un-informed older version of them?
Parents: it’s important not to bring the topic up every other week. We’ll get annoyed. But when you do decide to have the talk, be open about your concerns and let us voice ours. Go in depth about the dangers of each one. Teach us the right thing to do and how to do things responsibly.
Show us the dangers of drugs, don’t just talk about what can happen.
10. Stop spoiling us.
Expect your kid to start working when they’re 16. No matter if you have 6 houses and can afford an island, we will go nowhere fast if we don’t personally learn the benefits of hard work and start building our own resumes. We need to be okay with doing things for ourselves.
11. When it comes to relationships….
I firmly believe parents always know what THEY think is best and we can’t hate them for that. Together you need to make a list of goals and find a balance if you’re desperate for their acceptance. No matter what, we need to respect and support one another’s choices and decisions if their significant other makes them happy.
12. Let us learn from our own mistakes.
Telling us not to do things or date someone because you disapprove will only work so much. It doesn’t matter If you believe we’re making mistakes. We need to learn on our mistake on our own. Unless our life is in immediate danger, don’t be desperate to interfere. Don’t give us a reason to blame you if something doesn’t work out, because sadly our parents will be the easiest target if forced out of something you didn’t thing was right for us.
13. Be our biggest fan.
Support us in our career and life, and show up to events that we’re a part of. It feels good and will not go unnoticed.
By: Meral Kathwari