I’ve been in Kashmir for a month now. It’s the usual story, still trying to get my dad’s assets secured…
Kashmir can be a beautiful place but everything here reminds me of my dad What I hate most about this trip is that it’s not a vacation. It’s waiting around, fighting for legal things to happen. India is not a place to be. Especially, when you’re a 20-year-old girl doing it on your own. Everything takes time. The whole time thing would totally be okay if I were home. There I can be patient. But when you’re 10,000 miles away from comfort, friends, and a swimming pool in the summer, sleepless nights will occur.
Which reminds me, I haven’t slept here for more than 3-4 hours a night. Stressed out is an understatement and I wish I could say the bags under my eyes are Prada but they’re not.
You know I love traveling. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I’ve done my fair share. But traveling to the same place more than two times, when you’ve already seen everything, and there’s nothing much to do, sucks. My perfect and ideal getaway would be exploring a new, spectacular place. However, I’ve learned I can’t be away from home for more than 10 days at a time. It needs to be a 10-day-trip, unless all my loved ones or some friends are with me.
What’s happened to me? I used to be able to go three months without being in New York. And granted the only time I was away for three months was when I was with my dad, family, and had an awesome internship to distract me. Then I obviously didn’t get homesick as much.
But now, you guessed it, I’m in a relationship. And no we can’t be those Instagram travel couples who make every other BuzzFeed or Elite Daily article. Mostly because of morals and background. I obviously can’t bring a guy all the way to Kashmir, a conservative country, when we’re not even married. What will people think? I would be that talk of town I’ll tell you that much. Much less in Kashmir. There’s no way the relatives would allow it and I gotta have a certain amount of respect right? I mean most of them know I’m in a relationship but boundaries have to be set, which is okay.
And all I’ve learned from being away for a month is that traveling when you’re in a relationship is draining-emotionally and physically. All I wanna do is be at home with him and my friends, at a pool party, barbecuing some burgers and wings, both of which I haven’t had in a month. If my friends know or love me at all they better have a 12-piece buffalo wings from BBW waiting for me at the airport the moment I land back in New York.
It annoys me more now because I’m not having any fun and I’m stressed out. The only de-stressors and people I know who know who can take me out and have fun are back in the states. I also miss my 5ft teddy bear, my bed, my clothes (I only bought like 10 interchangeable outfits here due to luggage allowance), and my mother, of course.
Traveling alone when you’re in a relationship is possible. People always ask both of us if there’s a trust issue. Well it depends on the people. For now, it’s all good. I get that when you’re traveling alone you’re bound to meet new people and most of them will end up being of the opposite sex. But it is possible to stay faithful and just be friends. A lot of people never really think you can have an innocent relationship with someone when you’re traveling and that’s sad.
I did the long distance thing before. But the difference now is that my last long distance relationship was long distance the whole damn time we dated. Try seeing someone almost everyday and then boom not seeing them for a month. It’s getting to me. It’s draining because it’s unfair especially to the guy. If you’re lucky you’ll get a good one who will understand (which he is) that it’s not a vacation and that it’s strictly business (in my case). I spend a lot of my time worrying about if he’s okay or feeling helpless because there’s nothing I can do to change my situation and make things happen in a way that’s fair to us both. Lord knows when I’ll be home and when everything will be done here. He’s up for waiting but I’ve always told him if the distance gets too much that he should tell me and I’ll understand. Sure it would suck, but I’d get it. For now I’ll have to wait, too. It’s just one big waiting game. All we can do now is text, call, and FaceTime when the WiFi and electricity is available on my side. He’s a keeper for now. Goodness, look at how I’m talking, I’ve changed…