I used to be as cynical as they get. I used to think I would be better off alone, independent, and fulfilled with my career. Because of this, I used to stop any guy in his tracks who was trying to look for more than friendship. There was no such thing as love. There was no way I was capable of being loved. It wasn’t for me. Then I stopped trying to stop things from happening. I let things fall together naturally, and it has changed my life.
I’ve realized no matter how hurt you’ve been or how cynical your view is towards relationships or love, you shouldn’t fear the inevitable.
Everyone craves love and craves to be desired. No matter how much you don’t want to date or be in a relationship, you won’t be able to control your hormones from crushing, flirting, or finding someone attractive.
I understand one of the big reasons you’re afraid to fall in love is probably because you’ve been really screwed over in your past relationships. Well, hey, guess what? Chances are you’re not going to marry the first guy you date. And the second, third, fourth, etc. Everything takes time. If you’re afraid to fall in love because you’ve been hurt in the past, well I gotta say lightning can strike in the same place more than once. That doesn’t mean you’re not deserving of finding happiness. That’s just life teaching you to be resilient in my opinion, the least harmful way it can.
So you’ve been cheated on? It’s their loss! Move on. Never let a relationship have so much control over you that you want to change your views or life because of the way someone treated you in a relationship. Especially, if you’re young, there’s a greater chance of cheating happening, not to mention in high school or college. You’re both immature, exploring, and growing. Let’s face it. And, If you were in an abusive relationship, it’s obviously better you got out of it. You can do better!
Let every time you get hurt be a lesson to you. Every time, it will teach you something. Don’t let the pain of the breakup effect you in such a grave way. Cry for one or two hours, go to Dunkin, pick yourself up and move on. Everything happens for a reason. The only acceptable reason to mope around is if you’ve been dating for more than a year, living together, married or have kids. After a while, you should get over that too because things that are meant to be find their way.
I went out with a guy on-and-off for more than three years, and when I found out that that was a bust, I bought a plane ticket and said to hell with it. I met people from across the globe, and learned what was important to me. That relationship taught me that I was too young when it started, and I needed to have fun and figure out what I wanted to do in college and with my life.
From that time I learned, I needed to focus on my career. Around that time is when I started a blog and got an internship oversees, writing for a magazine. I didn’t stop myself from meeting guys or having fun with dating, though. I kept it innocent and had boundaries, too. Attempting to be cynical about dating and love is not fun at all. Seriously, stop it!
Don’t regret the relationships you’ve been in, even the ones where you absolutely despise your exes because their a lesson learned. They needed to be in your life for a reason. Whether it was a month or six, you wouldn’t have made it official if you didn’t share good times. At least you made some good memories, hopefully.
If you want to be alone for sometime, that’s fine. It’s nice to be alone for a while. But if someone comes along with whom you’re really connecting, don’t stop it from happening. Don’t get scared or push them away, you’re not helping anyone. Again, don’t be scared to get hurt but you also shouldn’t go into something thinking you will. It will be a disaster from the start if you have that idea.
He/she might not be your future husband or wife, but you could have something special, which in turn can lead to special times.
I’m always about dating and having a good time. It’s even better when having a good time can happen with one person over a long period.
I know it’s cliché, but there is someone out there for everyone. Even if you think you’re the crazy one, there’s someone out there willing to deal with your craziness. I say that in the nicest way possible, because everyone has flaws and should be willing to compromise.
For the hopeless romantics, you will find the one. Just don’t go looking for it. Be patient. Let it happen naturally. Better yourself and career in the meantime. When you don’t even expect it, you can find that one person who will impact you and and your life greatly.
Repeat after me: “I am worthy,” “I am great,” and “I deserve happiness!”
Photo credit: WeHeartIt