Dating sucks in our generation. No one picks up the phone and calls their significant other anymore. People are asking each other out over text messages. Rarely do I hear about people getting to know each other at a coffee house or someplace casual, exchanging numbers, and going out on a casual date or just plain and simple: getting asked out in a really nice way by a nice person. Now it’s usually text each other for a week or so, make plans, and then go out on your first date. Texting has redefined relationships.
In all the old TV shows, it would be along the lines of guy sees girl at a café or a bar; hits on her; talks then and there; and asks if she wants to meet up for coffee sometime. They exchange numbers, set a date, and then meet again—kind of like how everyone in the TV show “Friends” did it. Call me old-fashioned, but I think it’s much better that way. We won’t be wasting time on the phone; instead, we’ll be getting to know them in person by their voice or mannerisms. You can tell much faster, and off the bat, if there’s a spark and if he or she will be worth your time. You can find out more about someone in person—from their mannerisms and hobbies.
These days if you’re friend asks you the status of a relationship you can’t give the simple answer of dating, or if you’re boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. Now it’s, “We’re talking… we haven’t been on a date yet but we text till midnight…we know so much about each other….” To me that makes no sense.
If you continue to text, after getting a number, you won’t really get to know that person. Texting a guy or girl in this generation is so forced. You’re trying to impress the other and get them to like you. It also begins with small talk, which is annoying. For instance, what’s your favorite movie, color, or food? I feel like saying you should find out all these quirky little things about each other in person. What’s left to talk about if you covered it all during texting? They’ll be nothing to look forward to and it’ll get boring soon.
If it’s just the small short and sweet text in the beginning stages, it’ll leave more anticipation for a date. If you end up texting before the date for a long time, it’ll either be really great in rare cases or just boring. Why lead yourself on and waste time? False hope is the cruelest thing and that’s exactly what it’ll give you. You’ll find yourself trying to think of more ways to impress and think of questions to ask–your mind will get all jumbled up when you’re with that person. It’s the perfect way to get friend zoned. It’s not anyone’s fault; it’s just that texting is ruining the ways people communicate.
If you’re already friends and you like someone—I feel like that’s the only exception. You know enough as a friend that you realize when you have feelings. However, if you’re willing to take the relationship to the next level do not message how you feel over a text. Do not ask anyone out, just like that. Surprise him or her—in person!
It’s also nice to able to hear a voice, so pick up the phone and call. You can tell by the tone how someone’s feeling. Try to cheer up your friend if he or she has had a bad day. Stop texting. Get to know each other in person because that way there’s greater chance of being in a successful relationship, and you’ll both get more out of it.
©Meral Kathwari 2014