Why We Always Want What We Can’t Have

We always want what we can’t have because we’re addicted to the chase. I’m not talking about materialistic items like an iPhone or a Laptop, because we can’t really chase those things. I’m talking about boys and girls—relationship-wise. I’m a huge believer that dating in college will probably be a waste of time in the long run. As cynical as I may sound there are very few couples that I actually think will make it through college. These are the couples that have been dating since high school, have overcome the distance obstacle and simply can’t see themselves with anyone else.


As much as I am against dating in college, being tied down, and committing at such a free-spirited young age, I will still develop crushes. It’s natural and healthy. I will still get excited when I get that first text, when someone asks me for my number, or when I get complimented on by the opposite sex. It’s ten times more exciting when that someone is really hot, too.

However, it get’s terrifying when you start to develop ‘the chase.’ Meaning: If all goes well, that someone will like you back and you’ll live happily ever after. It’ll get bad when you develop a crush on someone you know you can’t have or who doesn’t like you back the same way. You will still crave the attention of that someone because no matter what, the anticipation of their text or seeing them in the halls or campus is going to be killing you, anyways. For whatever reason you like that person, whether it’s his/her style, if their tall and athletic, look like a model, or have killer eyes and a melting smile, your emotional self (mostly your hormones—to be honest) won’t be able to contain your feelings and excitement.

Sometimes you won’t be able to resist flirting and it’ll come across in a way that you’re easy and that can be lethal. It’ll either drive the person away or give them the wrong impression. The same reason you’re chasing them is because they’re hard to get. You have to play hard to get, too because in most cases, they’ll develop a chase for you instead.

You always want what you can’t have because the unresolved issue that can rarely be addressed on why and when they don’t like you back will be on your mind naturally for days. Is it you? Are you not his/her type? Are you doing something weird without noticing? Thinking about it will eat your nerves out.

If you’re being YOU, you can’t help it and there is nothing you can do about it. You’ll either get put in the friend zone or simply get rejected and never spoken to again. Both are cold and cruel to a free-spirited and young heart. You will still be addicted to the chase; you will have a moment of weakness where you will text him or her knowing it’ll be a one-word dry answer. Instead of succumbing to this embarrassment, you should distract yourself with a night out and make him think you’re not bothered.

Remember, that you are way too awesome to be sad! Everything happens for a reason and if he or she is playing so hard to get, it’s not meant to be. Things should fall together naturally and easily. We have to stop putting all our energy and thought in ‘the chase’ and remind ourselves to stop wasting time, control our emotions, and focus our energy on things that can’t be taken away from us so easily. As cheesy as it sounds and simply put—the wise Jay-Z once said, “on to the next one.”

P.S. That’s the only time I will ever quote Jay-Z (at the expense of sounding corny) and make it relevant.


Image: WeHeartIt & Tumblr


© Meral Kathwari April 5, 2014

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